Saturday, April 7, 2012
The Most Beautiful Sunrises Come After Storms
Monday, March 19, 2012
I can't draw ,the reason why I'm not supposed to, and one reason why fishing is important
Most of my conversations with God start one way, only to take a turn and end up in a totally different place than I anticipated. This one is no different. So stay in it at the curve and I promise it will straighten out and get you somewhere. Even if it isn't where you expected to go.
I wish I could draw. Really. It is something that I have always wanted, and something I have always been terrible at. I can’t even doodle properly. I’ve always been jealous of people who could draw or paint, I feel like if I could do that then I would have an outlet for creativity. It isn’t that I don’t have ideas or that I can’t picture things in my head. I have great ideas, but my hands refuse to translate that to paper with a pencil. So as I was sitting on my back porch yesterday, spending time with God, I decided I would give it another shot and try to draw a large rock in my back yard. Complete failure. There were just lines on the paper. It had no depth. No life. You know what I’m talking about. A real artist can begin to create something and at some point in their process whatever they are drawing comes to life. It was at this point that I realized that in order to create something you have to know it. So as I sat there talking to God about how much I wish I could draw He told me that I can’t create something about that which I don’t really know. I was looking at this rock. But I hadn’t looked at it up close, touched it, turned it over in my hands, felt its weight, really examined it. It was just a rock to me.
Which is exactly the opposite of how God looks at us. We aren’t the peak of the evolutionary chain, a mutation of some sorts that has no purpose. We are the masterpiece of the Artist of the Universe, created for a purpose and because He created us, He knows us. Far better than we could ever know ourselves. Which is why after my failed attempt at drawing something, and a complaint about not having any talent. God led me to where I actually have a talent I don’t use often enough. Writing. More specifically writing about what I know, what I love, what I’ve done. So with Spring in full force here in Auburn, and my Spring Break coming up next week, I was drawn to think about what Spring Break during my formative years consisted of. And the one event that made Spring official was fishing at my Grandpa’s pond. So here is a look at what I did when I was kid and all my friends went to the beach.
Spring Break. The time when most people head even further south to the Gulf of Mexico to engage in what they call “relaxation.” Obviously the majority of these people have never had the pleasure of slinging a Lazy Ike on the end of a Zebco 33 at 100 mph into the crystalline depths of George Johnston’s cow pond, or else they would be staying home and going fishing. Because that is how you fish when you are 10 years old. Cloud cover, wind, barometric pressure, water temperature, visibility in the water and all other factors that can help you catch fish go out the window. A 10-year-old’s requirements for choosing a fishing lure are as follows: Is it big? Yes. Is it ugly? Yes. Does it have at least 7 treble hooks? Yes. If you lose it will Dad whip your tail? I sure hope not. Then by all means, tie that thing on there, fling it as far as you can into the middle of the pond, and lets see what happens when you pull it in.
You see fishing at this point in a boy’s life isn’t necessarily about catching fish. It is about conquering things. These things may come in the form of a catfish as long as your pre-teen leg, but more often come in other forms. It is about crossing the cow pasture by your self, which just a few years ago you would never have done without Big Brother there with you. It is about learning to fix a back-lashed open-faced reel that your buddy who doesn’t fish much messed up, because you took that rod and reel without dad knowing and again, you don’t want you tail to get torn up. It is about learning not to panic when 3 of the 11 treble hooks on a Black-Cherry-Purple-Susan-Saturday-Night-Top-Water-Tennessee-Poppin-Special get caught in your right hand, and you are too far from the house to get any one to help. Fishing at this point in your life is about lugging two rod and reels, a five-gallon bucket, and a red Plano tackle box with about one third of K-Mart’s fishing aisle crammed in it down the gravel road, through the fence, across the ditch, and up to the one shady spot at the bass pond. Fishing on the bank of a pond is about learning to open up to your best friend as you both talk about the deep parts of your soul while staring at your bobber floating in the water as the sun goes down and the moon comes up, because no man looks another in the eye when speaking about his feelings if he can help it. It is about experiencing the thrill that comes when you have set a hook on a large mouth, and then learning to deal with the heartache that comes when it explodes from the depths to spit your lure out. Because the only feelings of joy and pain that come close to that will happen a few years later when you have set your hook in that first girl only to have her shake loose no matter how you tweak your drag, give her slack, or try to fight her into submission. You see, you don’t learn about life on the beach, toes in the sand, under an umbrella, with 36,000 other people who left everything behind to run away for a few days and not think about their troubles.
You learn about life as you sit on the bank of the pond with your feet in the water, swatting mosquitoes, getting sunburned, with a tub of rooster livers labeled “NOT FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION” stinking it up next to you and a chunk snagged on the end of Mustad C10289 Ultra Point Big Gun with the pole under your leg, waiting on a big channel cat to take the bait, while you and your buddy talk about why she left, why his momma has cancer, why you can’t seem to figure out where Jesus is leading you, when he is going to finally give her the ring he has had for six months, how he still misses his grandpa after all these years, and how life seems to have just snuck up on you all of a sudden.
So that’s why in a few days I’ll drive a few hours north, rather than south, to keep up my Spring Break tradition and me, Dale, Bent, CK, Bestes, and Trav will go somewhere where the fish don’t bite, the mosquitoes do, and the conversation is more lively than a night crawler on the seat of an aluminum boat in late July. Since it ain’t about catching fish any more, if it ever was, it’s about catching up.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
A New Year Already?
I realize that its two weeks since the New Year started… just two weeks? It feels like a month… if life wasn’t sliding by fast enough as it was it is in overdrive now. I’m going to do my best to get a few posts that I have in my head out onto virtual paper as soon as I get my schedule set and make the time. For now though, I’m just going to sling out a few things that are on my mind as the new year begins its sprint towards becoming last year. It’s a new year and:
· I’m still in school
· I still have doubts
· I’m still not perfect
· I’ve had my heart broken again
· I still don’t understand exactly where I’m going
· I’m still struggling with many of the same things I was last year
· I can’t seem to get a hold of some things that seem so easy for other people
· I still can’t seem to grasp God’s purpose for many of the things that have happened/are happening in my life
It’s a new year and:
· God still loves me
· I’m almost done with school
· I know that God has plans for me
· God has healed me in many ways
· God still wants to draw me closer to Him
· My past is washed in the blood of The Lamb
· God holds the pieces of my heart in His hands
· While I don’t know His purpose, I know He has one.
· While I don’t know where I’m going, I know if I keep my eyes on Christ it doesn’t matter where I’m headed