Saturday, April 7, 2012

The Most Beautiful Sunrises Come After Storms


For the last three months I have rolled out of my bed somewhere between 4:30am and 4:50am Central Time, navigated the labyrinth that is my room, and with a none too gentle hand; murdered the shrieking demon that is my alarm clock with a flip of that little switch at the top of the box that I have come to believe was manufactured not in Eastern Asia, but Hell itself. It is a short lived victory though because as soon as I slide the switch to the off position, I flip it right back on and there it waits patiently for the next twenty three hours and fifty-nine minutes. Masking itself as an innocent clock, biding the time until it rips me from sleep’s sweet embrace and rudely brings me back into reality. After this battle has ended, I shuffle to the bathroom, turn on the light and begin the typical working Single American Male’s morning routine: Shower, towel off, go to underwear drawer, find it empty, go get underwear out of the dryer, hang towel on shower curtain rod to dry, put contacts in, look for undershirt, go get undershirt out of the dryer, put on dress shirt, put on pants, go to sock drawer, find it empty, go to laundry basket with unfolded socks in it, get two socks (matching is optional), put on socks, put on shoes, tie my tie, fix hair, pack lunch, get briefcase, pour coffee, head to vehicle, commute.
Now for the last semester I have been student teaching at a middle school about thirty minutes down the interstate. Just close enough to Georgia to be on Eastern Time. Hence the 4:30am. For the majority of the semester this morning drive has been boring. I leave early enough that it is still dark, I only get to hear the first segment or two of Rick and Bubba, and there aren’t that many other drivers on the road so it is an easy, uneventful drive. About four weeks ago, something changed though. I drive east on I85 to get to work so I have a full view of the horizon as the sun begins to come up and around the first week of March I began to get to see the sun rise as I was east bound and down.
I’ve always been a fan of seeing sunrises and sunsets. Sunsets though have always been my favorite for a few reasons. Number one: I’ve seen more sunsets. Because I’ve been awake for more sunsets. Before this semester the only way I would see a sunrise would be if I was getting up to go hunt or if I had been out fishing or gigging frogs and didn’t get home until the sun came up. Number two: sunsets carry with them a sense of peace and restfulness for me. When I think about and remember sunsets I always think about sitting on the porch at my parents house as the evening begins to cool off, hearing the creak of the swing moving back and forth, feeling the warmth that the boards of the porch have absorbed from the day on my feet, and seeing the first fireflies take flight as the sun gives its last farewell and slips below the horizon. I think about the sun reflected on the water of the pond as I reel in my line for the last time because I can’t distinguish my orange bobber from the orange shine on the water. I think about the winter day that my brother and I spent hours in the woods, saw nothing, and as we stepped out of the woods into the open field near our house it looked like the world burst into flame and standing there with him and getting to see that made the whole day worth it. So with those things in their favor, sunsets have always been my favorite, and probably will still be my favorite. But not by such a large margin.
On my drive in the sunrise usually reaches its most beautiful point at what I think might be one of the most perfect places on the planet; a cow pasture. This pasture sits in a valley where they have probably been grazing cattle for 150 years. Gone are the pines and flat land that line the majority of the interstate system in south Alabama and in their place are gently rolling grassy hills dotted with grazing cattle, and hardwood trees that stand proud and majestic in their solitude throughout the pasture, except where they cluster at the creek at the bottom of the valley. It is rare to see a creek like this these days. This is not a stream or a ditch, but a real creek. One that flows strong year round, even in the middle of July when everything else has dried up. A creek that you can tell knows where it is going and is in no hurry to be there, because the banks are high from years of erosion and it winds its way through the valley bottom twisting and turning where it pleases and making its own way through the earth. It is here, in this valley with bovines moving across dewy grass, with fog settled on valley floor obscuring the creek from view that I look out across this pasture and see something that tugs at my heart nearly every morning. 
What began simply as a lightening of the sky as I made my way to my truck earlier, hinting at what was coming, has now become an all out declaration of what is to come. The night’s horizon, dead in its deep blue, has disappeared and in its place is something that artists have tried, and failed, to capture with paint, pencil, film, and word. Everything they make is just a copy. How do you describe a work of a master? How can you accurately trap something so original, so unique, as a sunrise? No matter how much talent a person may have, they cannot compare to the One who created the first sunrise. With nothing more than a word. So I won’t even really try, and trying to describe a sunrise isn’t the point of this post.
Something I have discovered, and what caused this entire post to start to in my head, is the thought that the best sunrises come after a storm. Being spring in Alabama, we’ve had our fair share of storms already and can only expect to have more.  There have been a few mornings when I was driving in that the storm clouds were breaking up, the sky was beginning to peek through,  and some of the most spectacular sunrises that I have seen happened. As clouds that brought destruction and damage are being swept away, the sun rises and God uses these clouds to show His majesty. The sun itself and the sky around it are clear and pure at this point, so bright that it is painful to look at. The sullen clouds though, have changed colors ranging from deep purple to the bright gold as the sun’s rays begin the process of cleansing the darkness from the earth and revealing the world as it is supposed to be seen. A reminder that storms aren’t forever, and that God’s beauty will win in the end.
This is never so real as it is in our spiritual lives. Because of original sin, we are born into darkness, death, and confusion. But there is hope. Christ has risen. The Son has risen. Once you have come to accept Christ as Lord, there is a change. What once was darkness and despair in your life has now become something beautiful. Christ’s light transforms the clouds of our past into flaming beacons of hope for those that are lost in darkness and looking for answers. As they see the beauty and joy in our lives, they seek the cause, they look for the source of light. They look to the Son. So on this Easter Sunday, this day of hope and triumph, know that the same God who has created a unique sunrise and sunset since He made the very first one, has also created you. Know that He will calm your storms, and use you to lead others through their troubles. Know that all of this was because Christ Himself endured a storm for you and me, that when that storm blew itself out the Son rose, the sun rose, and the world was given an eternal hope that shines in our soul.

Monday, March 19, 2012

I can't draw ,the reason why I'm not supposed to, and one reason why fishing is important

Most of my conversations with God start one way, only to take a turn and end up in a totally different place than I anticipated. This one is no different. So stay in it at the curve and I promise it will straighten out and get you somewhere. Even if it isn't where you expected to go.

I wish I could draw. Really. It is something that I have always wanted, and something I have always been terrible at. I can’t even doodle properly. I’ve always been jealous of people who could draw or paint, I feel like if I could do that then I would have an outlet for creativity. It isn’t that I don’t have ideas or that I can’t picture things in my head. I have great ideas, but my hands refuse to translate that to paper with a pencil. So as I was sitting on my back porch yesterday, spending time with God, I decided I would give it another shot and try to draw a large rock in my back yard. Complete failure. There were just lines on the paper. It had no depth. No life. You know what I’m talking about. A real artist can begin to create something and at some point in their process whatever they are drawing comes to life. It was at this point that I realized that in order to create something you have to know it. So as I sat there talking to God about how much I wish I could draw He told me that I can’t create something about that which I don’t really know. I was looking at this rock. But I hadn’t looked at it up close, touched it, turned it over in my hands, felt its weight, really examined it. It was just a rock to me.

Which is exactly the opposite of how God looks at us. We aren’t the peak of the evolutionary chain, a mutation of some sorts that has no purpose. We are the masterpiece of the Artist of the Universe, created for a purpose and because He created us, He knows us. Far better than we could ever know ourselves. Which is why after my failed attempt at drawing something, and a complaint about not having any talent. God led me to where I actually have a talent I don’t use often enough. Writing. More specifically writing about what I know, what I love, what I’ve done. So with Spring in full force here in Auburn, and my Spring Break coming up next week, I was drawn to think about what Spring Break during my formative years consisted of. And the one event that made Spring official was fishing at my Grandpa’s pond. So here is a look at what I did when I was kid and all my friends went to the beach.

Spring Break. The time when most people head even further south to the Gulf of Mexico to engage in what they call “relaxation.” Obviously the majority of these people have never had the pleasure of slinging a Lazy Ike on the end of a Zebco 33 at 100 mph into the crystalline depths of George Johnston’s cow pond, or else they would be staying home and going fishing. Because that is how you fish when you are 10 years old. Cloud cover, wind, barometric pressure, water temperature, visibility in the water and all other factors that can help you catch fish go out the window. A 10-year-old’s requirements for choosing a fishing lure are as follows: Is it big? Yes. Is it ugly? Yes. Does it have at least 7 treble hooks? Yes. If you lose it will Dad whip your tail? I sure hope not. Then by all means, tie that thing on there, fling it as far as you can into the middle of the pond, and lets see what happens when you pull it in.

You see fishing at this point in a boy’s life isn’t necessarily about catching fish. It is about conquering things. These things may come in the form of a catfish as long as your pre-teen leg, but more often come in other forms. It is about crossing the cow pasture by your self, which just a few years ago you would never have done without Big Brother there with you. It is about learning to fix a back-lashed open-faced reel that your buddy who doesn’t fish much messed up, because you took that rod and reel without dad knowing and again, you don’t want you tail to get torn up. It is about learning not to panic when 3 of the 11 treble hooks on a Black-Cherry-Purple-Susan-Saturday-Night-Top-Water-Tennessee-Poppin-Special get caught in your right hand, and you are too far from the house to get any one to help. Fishing at this point in your life is about lugging two rod and reels, a five-gallon bucket, and a red Plano tackle box with about one third of K-Mart’s fishing aisle crammed in it down the gravel road, through the fence, across the ditch, and up to the one shady spot at the bass pond. Fishing on the bank of a pond is about learning to open up to your best friend as you both talk about the deep parts of your soul while staring at your bobber floating in the water as the sun goes down and the moon comes up, because no man looks another in the eye when speaking about his feelings if he can help it. It is about experiencing the thrill that comes when you have set a hook on a large mouth, and then learning to deal with the heartache that comes when it explodes from the depths to spit your lure out. Because the only feelings of joy and pain that come close to that will happen a few years later when you have set your hook in that first girl only to have her shake loose no matter how you tweak your drag, give her slack, or try to fight her into submission. You see, you don’t learn about life on the beach, toes in the sand, under an umbrella, with 36,000 other people who left everything behind to run away for a few days and not think about their troubles.

You learn about life as you sit on the bank of the pond with your feet in the water, swatting mosquitoes, getting sunburned, with a tub of rooster livers labeled “NOT FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION” stinking it up next to you and a chunk snagged on the end of Mustad C10289 Ultra Point Big Gun with the pole under your leg, waiting on a big channel cat to take the bait, while you and your buddy talk about why she left, why his momma has cancer, why you can’t seem to figure out where Jesus is leading you, when he is going to finally give her the ring he has had for six months, how he still misses his grandpa after all these years, and how life seems to have just snuck up on you all of a sudden.

So that’s why in a few days I’ll drive a few hours north, rather than south, to keep up my Spring Break tradition and me, Dale, Bent, CK, Bestes, and Trav will go somewhere where the fish don’t bite, the mosquitoes do, and the conversation is more lively than a night crawler on the seat of an aluminum boat in late July. Since it ain’t about catching fish any more, if it ever was, it’s about catching up.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

A New Year Already?

I realize that its two weeks since the New Year started… just two weeks? It feels like a month… if life wasn’t sliding by fast enough as it was it is in overdrive now. I’m going to do my best to get a few posts that I have in my head out onto virtual paper as soon as I get my schedule set and make the time. For now though, I’m just going to sling out a few things that are on my mind as the new year begins its sprint towards becoming last year. It’s a new year and:

· I’m still in school

· I still have doubts

· I’m still not perfect

· I’ve had my heart broken again

· I still don’t understand exactly where I’m going

· I’m still struggling with many of the same things I was last year

· I can’t seem to get a hold of some things that seem so easy for other people

· I still can’t seem to grasp God’s purpose for many of the things that have happened/are happening in my life

It’s a new year and:

· God still loves me

· I’m almost done with school

· I know that God has plans for me

· God has healed me in many ways

· God still wants to draw me closer to Him

· My past is washed in the blood of The Lamb

· God holds the pieces of my heart in His hands

· While I don’t know His purpose, I know He has one.

· While I don’t know where I’m going, I know if I keep my eyes on Christ it doesn’t matter where I’m headed